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  1. #1
    Senior Member yoyo's Avatar
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    movie crap shoot reviews



    Any one feel like taking a wack at reviewing any movies? Well here's my review for the transformers (dark side of the moon).

    I am a nostalgic fan of Transformers. Though my child hood memories are a bit foggy. Still my kids wanted to see this bomb of a movie. I didn't really dread it though since I didn't think the last two were horrible.

    Wow if you go see this movie do your self a favor see it in 3D not 2D. That was a mistake I made. There is nothing worth while in this movie other than CGI. Plot Lousy, dialog, lousy, too many stupid puns and retarded jokes (that aren't funny) and sam's usually snarky comments sound contrived and just come off as plain annoying! Am I getting old or what? As a far as the story goes it's nothing new. It's the same exact lame damn storie as the last 2 movies. Identically so! Auto bots still out casts not worthy of trust by earth's native residents (I know that's the formula still mix it up once in a while!). Also (can't remember his name) but it was no surprise when the Auto bot leader betrayed them. Don't know why but I just saw it coming a mile away. The rest of the story there really is none. My mind kept wandering during the long drawn out fighting scenes (of bombs and explosions, gun fire extra...) and when I would come back to nothing new was even happening story wise. (unbelievable they were still fighting that whole time!) The coolest scene is the most talked about with the sky diving (gliding suite thingies?) scene which held my short attention for a few moments.

    Finally two other complaints all the new characters are too humanoid in appearance especially considering these are supposedly older than the auto bots! And they even had robotic blood? Red liquid which resembles blood! I give it a lame! No originality or creativity on their part. These characters are coming from an alien planet one where humans did not exist so why do these robots resemble humans in their true form? Even down to electronic hair,blood facial features and expressions? Stupid humans making every thing look like us, show some creativity!

    Last complaint! main female character is lame! All she's good for is sex appeal that's it. Zero acting ability no intellegent sounding dialog! And what was her job again? Who the hell knows! Working for a rich pompus ass hole. Still no official job title to be found making it painfully obvious that she got the job based on looks alone. (way to send a message to any young female fans. Sorry girls you're only as good as your looks! True message all men want is sex and if you aren't supermodel material then you don't deserve to star in this movie!) Wow she gets one redeeming moment where she tricks megatron into taking out the other old auto bot dude(sorry I still don't know his name. It wasn't even important since he wasn't an original character and he dies in this movie.) And the very first scene where her character is introduced is a shot of her hot ass in a thong. Leaving me dumbfounded at the obvious impression it left on my children!

    Also Sam's character is also lame! Too much focus is put on the fact that he is a hero (not sure how since he really just got lucky in the first movie as far as making friends with the auto bots and being involved in their business in the first place. Literally any one else would have done the same thing right? Well most normal people other than total chicken shits.). Sure his heart is pure as gold (are you sure about that?) but he expects a job handed to him because he is a hero? For real? Maybe they were trying to drum up sympathy (he's the unappreciated and forgotten hero) but get real how many real heros are out there and they don't obsess and wine about not being appreciated. Nor do the expect to be pampered the rest of their lives for any acts of heroism. They do it for the sake of doing the right thing. And while it is mentioned that he has a college degree of some kind his area of expertise is never mentioned. And from his dialog it would never be evident what he has a degree in or even whether he has intelligence beyond wise cracking. His character comes off as winy! And great example having him living off his rich supermodel girlfriend. (that's right boy fans let your hot babe of a woman take care of you. Even if your character is average at best. He deserves it right? For saving the world?)

    Back to dialog once more. I noticed that optimus has some of the lamest dialog. But hey at least his voice is epic enough that it still sounds cool. Seriously think about that one for a moment. Optimus could read from a cereal box and still make it come off sounding noble and profound. Wow way to make things easy on the pathetic no talent hack writers. Way to squeeze money out of the mindless zombie fan base holly wood! Thank those CGI artist's they were the only thing that saved this movies ass!

    Well I will complain more about other lame movies later. Gotta go my laptop battery is all but dead.

  2. #2
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    Re: movie crap shoot reviews



    Michael Bay is a dicktard and that pretty much explains most of his movies (except the one or two decent ones).
    Where five hamlets are the unit for judgments, supremacy is attained; where ten hamlets are the unit for judgments, there is merely strength.
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    Govern by punishments and wage war by rewards; seek transgressors and do not seek the virtuous.

  3. #3
    Senior Member yoyo's Avatar
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    Re: movie crap shoot reviews



    well I was going to rip on another movie I saw that sucked. Rio the kids movie? Wow I know it's a kids movie but come on! They rely heavily on characters that are entertaining only as comedy relief and in real life they would all be considered mentally ill. I don't know why but it's lacking in creativity. It reminds me of another bomb movie but I can't even remember the name of that movie either. Oh well I'm not gonna give a long boring review simply because it isn't even worth ripping into it. I realize this isn't a pixar or even a dreamworks movie. That might explain why it sucks so bad. Any how your kids will enjoy it even if you don't. enough said.

    Seriously I feel these movie writers they have zero amount of talent. :thumbdown: :crazy:

  4. #4
    Senior Member yoyo's Avatar
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    Re: movie crap shoot reviews



    Captin america.

    Do I really even half to explain. Damn this movie was so boring I couldn't even finish watching it. After he falls into that river or what ever I fell asleep. I tried to watch it one more time I fell asleep again! :lol:

    I give it a prescription for lame.

    Don't even bother wasting your time, unless you need sleep.

  5. #5
    Senior Member yoyo's Avatar
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    Re: movie crap shoot reviews



    wow I wish I had some movies to review but so far all of them are crappy. And I'm getting so old that I can't remember most of them. I may have to watch them again some day.

    OK I'll review RIDDICk. While I love vin diesel (yes hot hot sexiness) this movie was mediocre. It's basically a rehash of Pitch black. Still I loved it. But that's just my type of movie. Over all the movie wasn't a sparkling gem or anything.

    I'll be back later to review a movie after I've watched it fresh so I have valid comments.

  6. #6
    Moderator BlackDalek's Avatar
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    Re: movie crap shoot reviews



    We watched Riddick last night. It was a struggle to stay focused on the TV at some points. To say the incessant "private eye" style voice over in that droning V.D. voice was a little tedious would be an understatement. Plot-wise, it was pretty much Pitch Black all over again. Having almost completely forgotten everything about the 2nd movie, I got a bit lost with the beginning scenes, but this lack of comprehension did not seem to matter or be relevant to understanding the main "lets try to not all get eaten by the monsters in the rain" scenario.

    If you've got nothing better to do... click this

  7. #7
    Senior Member yoyo's Avatar
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    Re: movie crap shoot reviews



    God's not dead

    Wow what can I say? Contrived maybe. Being an atheist this is not a movie I wanted to see but my christian mother dragged me along kicking and screaming. After word I declared that I'm still an atheist. She said I can't possibly be an atheist. I tried to explain to her that this is not a movie you take your atheist friend to, to convert them.

    Horrible horrible movie not because it was religious either. Just because it was bloody boring. No real arguments were presented but a few week arguments on both sides. So no real debate going on in this movie. Atheists were just painted as these horrible horrible people! Of course all of them converted by the end of the movie "yay". For no apparent reason that duck dynasty guy was in it for a cameo. He added nothing to the movie other then just to be in the movie. There's also a lot of racism going on in this movie. I won't get into it though.

    I give it an epic fail. Horrible don't waist time seeing it.

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