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  1. #11
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    Thanks thanks....I do my very best.

    BTW: I posted the story in German, so for all native speakers, you can enjoy it in your own language, if you want.... :-D

    I?ll rest my fingers a bit (over night). Maybe I can post another chapter tomorrow. (hehe, fortunately, we do have our regular English lesson at work tomorrow...could be nice to toil our English teacher with some questions... :D )

    Another BTW: my story is up at fanfiction.net. It?s rated R - so you have to look under the right category...

    :smt023 see you soon

    AE
    It matters not
    If the cause is lost
    And we cannot stop the tide
    We will fight to the end
    And then fight again
    It will be a good way to die

  2. #12
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    Loving it, Aenea! How is it that Kai came to be alive?

  3. #13
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    Great, as expected! Please write more, the aspects of this operation business seem like an interesting idea to explore!
    In Florida, we have one common rule during Hurricane season: Anything that blows in from the neighbor's yard automatically is yours, so put the car in the garage.

  4. #14
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    @mmlover: How he came alive?
    It?s very simple...he had been infected with this (in this case I must say: useful) virus....
    Well, he?s not fully alive yet. There are some things to do before... hehehe

    I read a lot of FF, and some authors dealt with possibilities to bring him to life. So there were really good ideas among them. But I couldn?t copy them of course. My thought was, that something like a virus may have the potential to change his "biology". The protoblood and the virus were the key. Brought together they were able to reactivate his brain funtions and from there his whole body. (for to feel again, it?s of course important to activate the necessary brain functions...those parts in our brain where our emotions were created, the limbic system (sensations) and the primitive brain (where our aggression came from, the so called baser human instincts))
    That?s really all...
    Fortunately Lexx is not Star Trek...I would have looked hard for an excuse. Dr. Crusher would have told me that this theory is absurd... :-D
    BUT FORTUNATELY THIS IS LEXX! :twisted:

    Alright. Just let me say something I have forgotten: (as it will become important for this part)
    The story takes place right after the third season, without the knowledge of the fourth...(I ignored the Little blue planet too...)
    I just simply needed the knowledge of the third serii...(you can guess which ep...hehehe)

    That?s it so far...
    If you have further questions...don?t worry, just ask.

    AE

    The story takes place
    It matters not
    If the cause is lost
    And we cannot stop the tide
    We will fight to the end
    And then fight again
    It will be a good way to die

  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aenea Endymion
    @mmlover: How he came alive?
    It?s very simple...he had been infected with this (in this case I must say: useful) virus....
    Well, he?s not fully alive yet. There are some things to do before... hehehe
    Ahhh, very interesting concept. I had him come alive in a dream type sequence for purposes of the story a couple of times. But have never actually written him alive after death. (I have an idea I've been toying with for a after story after the little blue planet explodes, maybe someday I'll write it).

  6. #16
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    I?ve finished another chappie....
    Ha, daily updates...it?s almost like microsoft... :twisted:

    The most difficult part for me to translate so far...I still need some experience in phrases...our German phrases won?t match the English most of the time. :?

    Anyhow, I hope you enjoy it.

    Chapter 3

    First steps

    Kai stirred again and regained consciousness. His emotions were sharper and more concrete now, a lot less chaotic. Unconsciousness had been a true release after this shock.
    He realigned himself and a new strange sensation crept into his mind. He felt weak, shiftless. Slowly he opened his eyes and found himself back in his open cryopod. The robot head stand on the control-unit and, judging from the data columns in his digital eyes, was diagnosing something. Kai groaned a little: ?What happened?? he asked unstable. Xev, who had turned around a second before, stepped back. She appeared in his focus, a mixture of fear, delight and worry on her face. She explained to him 790?s diagnose in short words. ?That?avowed a lot,? he commented after she had finished. He looked at her for a moment until Xev got embarrassed and dropped her gaze to the floor. Kai stepped forward carefully and left the cryopod. Already this small movement was enough to let him get dizzy, and he faltered again. Xev noticed it and supported him immediately. She helped him to sit down at the bottom of the cryopod. Kai closed his eyes for a moment, after he had felt her touch again. It was a truly strange sensation to feel another ones touch. It was in some way?comfortable to feel warmth in this cold room. Xev let finally go of him, hesitating, because she wasn?t sure if it was agreeable for him to be touched. Kai noticed it and took her hand before she could draw it back completely. Xev froze when she felt his hands wrapping hers. She looked at him inquiring and wide-eyed. ?Your skin?is?warm,? his fingers stroke over her back of the hand, her palm resting on his other hand. Xev closed her eyes and prayed that she won?t lose self-control. To be touched in that way by Kai, let act up her hormones. Her feelings whirled around.
    She took a deep breath and opened her eyes again ? directly in his ones! Xev thought for a moment that she would pass out, but, of course, that didn?t happen.
    Kai didn?t miss Xev?s reaction. He must have been blind not to notice how she reacted to his proximity. When he moved carefully through his chaotic sensations, he was able to feel something not unknown to him. He had experienced exactly the same a long time ago ? in another life. Kai swallowed as it became clear to him, that his presence on board the Lexx, had been more than to use his free will to protect Stan and Xev. There was more?but it eluded him, as hard as he tried to find out what. He felt something?for this woman? something beyond the simple task to protect her. He examined her eyes - the bright vivid green of her eyes reminded him to the fact that she had always been the most lively person of the crew - her facial expression, bothered to hide her true feelings she had this moment. But Kai already knew them, he remembered. Regret crept into his feelings. She never had stopped loving him. Against all reason. The dead do not love. <And the living?> He asked himself. Xev was more than an appealing woman, one you can?t cut down to her outwardness. And she caused sensations within him, he hadn?t been able to feel for thousands of years. The last time he had felt them - Kai?s innermost tensed when the image of his first love showed up ? had been the day when he told her goodbye. He once had loved and was loved, with a force that often amazed himself. And now it was back, this intense sensation like a crackling in the air. Kai let go of her hand, it was unbelievable. At once he missed something.
    Xev thought that she would lose herself in his eyes. She felt as if he was able to look into the deepest depths of her soul. His gaze bond her and she first woke up when he unclasped her hand. Xev sighed inwardly, she still could feel his touch. She had loved him from the very beginning, when she first laid eyes on him ? but now, as she saw his usual impassible indifference fading, she fell hopelessly in love with him. She lifted her hand and touched his cheek, relieved when he didn?t draw back. Her fingers traced his cheekbone and stroke over his lovelock.
    Kai tilted his head and closed his eyes. The sensation overwhelmed him. Now he knew what she must have felt when he had touched her unintentionally?He understood. It must have been hell for Xev when he never responded to that. The dead do not feel. Kai felt sorry, poor Xev, he must mean a lot to her if she was up to endure that - it must had been like a constant attack against a growler.
    ?I?m sorry Xev!? he whispered. He simply had to say that. The emotion that pushed him was strong. Xev looked astonished at him, took hold of his hands again. ?What for?? ?For my incompetence to feel, I?hurt you a lot?? he said. ?I?m beginning to?understand.?
    To be disapproved had been something she had to go through her whole life, he hadn?t made an exception. This hurt him, because?actually he liked her a lot. Kai lowered his head.
    Xev was surprised, but she sensed what he felt like, but was he able to help it? Needless to say that he had hurt her a lot, but the fault was with those who made him what he had been for such a long time. Xev bend forward and put her hand under his chin. Slowly she lifted his head. Now or never ? she wanted to tell him what she felt. She had done this often, but now there was a slim chance for a reaction?also she was afraid. ?I have loved you from the first day we met, Kai. It kept me going, I never gave up hope. I never had many wishes in my life, only one?you should live again?!? Xev gulped, a tear ran down her cheek. <and that you would love me as well> she continued in her thoughts. ?I was happy for every day you were around, woke and near me,? she finally said.
    He could see the teary mist in her eyes, behind it her love, her hope and her fear too, the fear of new refusal. But he wanted to take her fear away, there was no need for that any longer. He might have been incapable for emotions for 6000 years, but this was over now. He reached out to pull her into his arms.
    Xev started to tremble for a second, when she felt his arms surrounding her waist, but then she felt the rough fabric of his clothes next to her cheek and she realized that it was really true.
    Xev sighed deeply, she admitted the hope that he may liked her. Maybe more. When she felt his arms around her, it sank in that she needed him badly. No one had ever embraced her like this. She felt secure and salvaged, something she had missed her whole life.
    Kai felt steadied, his mind cleared up a bit more and he took a deep breath. He felt the warmth of her soft body and sensed her pleasant fragrance. It was?he hesitated?similar to what once had been.
    Love. Only one simple word ? but so strong feelings. He couldn?t deny that he felt something for Xev. Not as the result of a sense of guilt ? it was more, ?Xev?? he softly whispered her name. Had it always been flown so soft from his lips? Xev broke the embrace and looked into his eyes. He smiled slightly, it was the first true smile she saw on his face. She smiled back, examining his beautiful face, his eyes, the smooth structure of his skin, his lips?she didn?t want to wait any longer, so she took her chance?
    She bend forward and pulled him closer, then her lips touched his and he got the first kiss in his new life. Xev closed her eyes when he returned the kiss. Completely soft.
    Inwardly she screamed for desire. Her libido kicked in and she had to reprehended herself sharply. She didn?t want to lose control, although it was difficult for her. The kiss seemed to last an eternity and after a short break, their lips came together once again. Both of them curious to repeat this overwhelming experience.
    Unfortunately the moment didn?t last any longer. They were interrupted truly unromantic.
    790?s voice let them wince: ?Let go of my woman, you once dead bastard!? He just wanted to pause his diagnose mode for a moment to look for Xev, and this is what he discovered. 790 wasn?t amused. When Kai and Xev part startled, Stan also came in. He had to grin when he spot the situation. ?Does he interrupt you with something?? he asked. ?Hrmpf,? she growled and stood up, Kai remained on the bottom, he was to groggy to stand. 790 snarled: ?Does he hurt you, my darling?? ?No, 790, far from it?!? she smiled dreamily down to Kai, who shyly looked aside. Stan shook his head and changed the subject: ?I found only a few tools we can use?not very much.? He laid it down in front of 790. He looked from Xev to Kai and back again. ?What?? she asked, when she noticed his gaze. ?Oh, ah, nothing?!? ?Never saw anyone kissing?? she asked enervated. ?Ahh, yesss,? he extended. ?Kai for example.? Xev rolled her eyes, Kai only knitted his brows. After a moment of awkward silence, Xev picked up Stans commentary about the tools. ?We have to do the surgery here?? she asked. ?Yes, I can?t guess any better place.? Stan answered. ?Ok. Kai?? she lowered herself down to him. He looked inquiring at her. With anxiety in her face, she asked: ?Are you ready for a surgery if the time is near?? ?I do not have any choice, do I? The implants have to be removed. Most of my <equipment> has failed when I left cryostasis,? he explained. ?Like on fire?? ?No, it?s different. I?m not out of?alignment if you mean that. But I?m not able to communicate with 90% of my mechanical devices. It seemed that they were shut down when they came in contact with my infected protoblood. The few information I still can receive, tells me that a complete system failure isn?t far. We do not have much time. I do also feel pain where my implants are located. 790?s assumption is right, it seems that my body wants to get rid off this mechanical devices.? Xev understood, Kai?s situation wasn?t very comfortable, she could imagine that. ?We will drug you, you won?t feel any pain?? Kai nodded slowly. He felt far more pain he admitted so far. He was still able to control himself, but only because of the few biomechanical systems which were still in alignment. Still. How he had said, time was running down. His main system control was designed to function under major damage as well ? but everything has a limit. He was never designed to life! Troubled he heaved himself up. Xev was at his side at once and supported him. With a sigh he leaned back into his cryopod. ?I assume that it we still have some time until you can start the ?surgery. I suggest that you lay down to relax. 790 can observe and call you if something is wrong,? he proposed. Xev hesitated, she wouldn?t leave him alone. ?Go,? he smiled, but it acted a bit agonized. She gave in. ?790, check on him and call me immediately if anything changes, yes?? ?Yes my luscious dish, I?ll keep my eyes peeled!? 790 tried to look threatening, but he really couldn?t convince anyone with it. ?Ok, I lay down,? Xev kissed Kai once again before she left. Stan wanted to follow her. ?Stanley?? Kai held Stan back. ?Mh?? ?Thank you!? ?What for?? Stan asked surprised. ?For supporting Xev. For being there for her, when I couldn?t be around!? Stan dropped his gaze shyly to the floor. He never expected that someone would thank him for anything. ?Yeah, you know?family?we?re like a family, don?t you think? And it?s normal to care about each other, isn?t it?? Kai nodded. A strange kind of family maybe, but they only had each other and the ship. ?Promise me, if something?will go wrong?keep an eye on her!? His question wasn?t causeless. He wasn?t sure if everything would go smooth, like Xev imagined, so what choice does he have? Like Stan had said, they were a family. ?Kai? Something wrong?? Stan thought he misheard. Kai sighed. There was a lot not alright. ?Just promise me, Stan!? Stan still looked skeptic. He knew that the surgery was a big risk, but that Kai bargained for the worst? But after a moment he agreed and nod. ?I promise, but no guarantee that Xev is happy about that. You know her?!? ?I do,? Kai smiled. ?But it?but I feel better if I know that you?re there for her.? Stan smiled back: ?Okay, I think?I?m going to eat something now, I?m not sure that I will get a chance for that later?or that I?m able to eat right after?? Stan walked to the exit, turned around a last time and said: ?We will succeed, don?t worry?!? Then he vanished into the dark corridor.
    Kai was alone. 790 had shut himself down into diagnose mode, he wasn?t in the mood to talk to any competition at Xev?s love. He looked at the holoimage. More and more parts were colored in orange. His pain was equally rising with the process. It was strange to feel pain again. His body was fighting more and more against those foreign matters, foreign matters which had kept him going for 6000 years.
    Suddenly, memories peeked through his mind, more sharp and more clear than anything before. Memories full of pain, fear and death. He experienced again the final battle against His Shadow.
    He saw his home world perish in fire, again he heard the outcry of millions of BrunnenG, dying in the twinkling of an eye. All of them died, except for him. He had been the last of them to die. There, on the bridge of the Foreshadow he laid. Paralyzed with pain, he could express his hatred and rage with few words and gazes only ? before he was killed by His Divine Shadow. Kai groaned, as he remembered the moment when the cold metal of His Shadows knife penetrated his body. The next moment everything exploded in pain ? then, darkness surrounded him. In the past he had died, here and now, Kai lost his consciousness. The changing process of his body doubled its speed, time was really running down now. 790 registered it only seconds later. He started to scream. ?Xevvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv, the former dead assassin is waiting for the surgery!?
    It matters not
    If the cause is lost
    And we cannot stop the tide
    We will fight to the end
    And then fight again
    It will be a good way to die

  7. #17
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    It's nice to see Kai finally be able to feel something for her. I hope his surgery goes well! Looking forward to more!

  8. #18
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    Heh...I liked all the Kai/Xev-ness. Very cute. Keep going, I can't wait to read more about how they're gonna make him normal...or at least normal-er/
    In Florida, we have one common rule during Hurricane season: Anything that blows in from the neighbor's yard automatically is yours, so put the car in the garage.

  9. #19
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    OH Aenea it's excellent! I'm truly enjoying your writing and want to thank you for sharing it with us..I know you're trying your best to write in English and can see your improvements..thank you! :smt023

  10. #20
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    Okay, my fingers are bloody and sweaty from writing....but here?s the next part:

    Chapter 4

    Changes

    Xev just has slept for half an hour, when she heard 790 screaming. Without hesitation she raced back to the cryochamber. Stan joined her a second later. Xev realized Kai?s collapsed body, and his unconsciousness. Xev took a deep breath. It was time. ?790? Please narcotize him!? ?Why? He is sleeping!? he objected. ?790. You know exactly that the is unconscious, and if I start to remove his equipment he will wake up because of the pain!? ?Not so bad at all?? growled the robot head, but he activated the anaesthetic gas. ?What should I do?? asked Stan. ?Could you arrange our tools?? Xev shivered when she thought about those few useful tools for the surgery. ??and Stan??? ?Yes?? he turned around. ? Thanks for helping!? she smiled sweetly. ?Have heard the same not long ago?? he muttered and smiled back. ?You?re welcome!? He started to arrange the tools on the cryopod control unit.
    Xev checked on Kai, if he really was narcotized and began to take off his clothes. ?Wait, I?ll help you!? Stan hurried at her side, when he saw how she struggled with holding him and removing his jacket at the same time. He held him, whilst Xev opened the zipper on the back. ?Thanks Stan, that?s how it works!? She removed the jacket and Stan laid him back. Xev put the jacket aside, it was a heavy fabric; she remembered the last time she took it off, when Kai went out of alignment. It had been the first time she had seen Kai without clothes. His muscular and strong body fascinated her, although the mechanical devices disfigured parts of his otherwise handsome body. They really had scared her a bit. She once again was very attracted to him and suppressed the urge to touch him. Xev concentrated on her work.
    First of all she looked closer to his protoblood supply. The pump was inserted where his heart once had been. From there, she had to remove all of its connections to the other implants in his body. Most of them were on his left side, the function of them were unknown to her. She detected, that his skin turned to a more natural color than the pale and grayish color it had before. Also, it showed damage where the implants were embedded. Xev touched the savvy skin, it started to bleed immediately, a weird combination of orange protoblood and red human blood. The time has come. Xev looked into the face of the unconscious BrunnenG and gave him a quick kiss: ?I?ll start now, fingers-crossed that we?ll do it!? she whispered. ?Stan, knife, gripper,? she ordered. Stanley looked over his careful arranged tools and picked out what she demanded for. Then Xev started, under 790?s guidance of course, making her way all through his many implants.
    Hour by hour went by. The protein-regenerator was at full speed. More and more electrodes were connected with Kais body. Xev worked obsessively to free him of this <biomechanical junk>, how Stan named it. She reached his legs. When she removed his pants to get access to his most delicate part, she was surprised. When she had removed the rods from his control unit on fire, she had been sure that the bioscholars had removed a certain highly important part of him. But she was at fault. Fortunately they hadn?t removed anything irreplaceable. (To be serious, who wanted to have an assassin with a high pitched voice?) She assumed that Kai wasn?t sure about that fact as well. How should he know about certain parts of his body? The dead do not undress and look at themselves in the mirror.
    At last she removed the complete weapon system from his right arm. The deadly weapon lost its horror when she held it useless in her hand. Xev shivered when she thought about all those people killed with it. She didn?t know how many he had killed with it, but it must had been some hundred thousand. 2000 year had been a long time, even for an assassin. Xev sighed and put the weapon away. She looked into Kais face. It was keen, but he slept deeply and firmly. She remembered the implant in his head, attached to his brain. She knew that she couldn?t remove it, the risk of a lasting damage was too high. To repair an injured brain they needed more than a protein regenerator. So she let it where it was. It might could be a weakpoint, because of the programming, but it needed someone like Brizon to endanger him, because he had known who he was. Xev attached the last electrodes on Kais arm, then she was finished. ?That?s it!? she sighed heavily. Stan put the tools together to clean them later. He had observed the holoimage during the surgery and assisted Xev. A huge part of Kais body gleamed orange now, where the infected protoblood had already activated the regeneration of his body. There was sufficient protein now to heal all injuries with the protein-regenerator. The remaining protoblood would continue the process of transmutation. There couldn?t be done else but waiting. Waiting until every injury healed. Xev nod, she made a good job of it. She caressed his body lovingly with her eyes. It hurt her to see him injured like that. The open wounds still bled, he looked as if someone had tried to slaughter him. It was senseless to wipe the blood away, so she gave in. Of course, it was a reason to touch his wonderful body, but she knew what effect it has on her. She wondered if Kai knew, how he came across as, especially to women. Maybe he had, before he died.
    ?I?ll take a shower Stan, I?m really beaten?? she said. ?Yes, we must have been hours in here!? Stanley moaned. ?Six hours, forty-two minutes and thirty-six seconds,? commented 790. ?Should I watch him?? he asked niggling. ?Yes, would be kind of you 790!? Xev smiled and pat him. ?But only because of you!? growled the robot head. ?Thanks. See you later Stan!? ?See?? he yawned ??you later, I?ll go to bed.? They both left the cryochamber.

    Xev dropped her clothes to the floor and went under the strange trunk, which spread clear, warm water over her, after she had activated the shower. Now she realized how exhausting the last hours had been. But she pushed it aside when she thought of the minutes together with Kai. She smiled and her thoughts whirl as she remembered. Kai was alive ? and he felt! And he seemed to like her. She couldn?t believe it. Her heart beat twice as fast when she remembered the kiss he had returned so passionately to her in the end. Kai felt ? and he would be alive again ? truly alive! She couldn?t repeat it often enough. Would they use the opportunity to get together? Would he use the chance to live his life now ? this life which had once been stolen so cruel? Could he love again? Xev deeply hoped for that. Life and love was something she had been designed for. And nobody else was able to match her better than Kai. His people once had been full of love and life ? otherwise no one would have called them a <race of romantic warriors>. And she knew that Kai truly had been one of them ? before he? Xev froze. It wasn?t everything he had been. He still had another past. A violent and murderous past. He may haven?t had any conscience and conscious for 2000 years, when he had killed countless people, but now he felt again, his soul returned to him ? what would that mean for him now? Will he drown in a sense of guilt? How will he think about his past? Will he able to recognize that he only had been an instrument of His Shadow, with no will of his own? Xev couldn?t hardly imagine what for a burden he had to carry now. More fear crept into her heart. No, there wasn?t only love waiting for him?he had to cope with far more than any other human being in this universe. Was he ready for that? Was she able to support him? Xev started to cry. It would be the best for him not to remember. But she knew that he would ? someday. She had killed herself. On the med station, when she transformed herself into a clusterlizard. But she wasn?t a cold blooded killer, she only defend herself and wanted to save Kai. But when she remembered, she felt guilty sometimes. So she had a glimpse idea how he would feel about ? with the difference of murdering a lot more people! Xev deactivated the shower and took a towel. <I?ll do everything to ease his guilt> she thought, whilst drying her beautiful body. Of course, she didn?t know how.
    Who can say?only time. And fear now went with it. Xev finished with a sigh and left the shower.

    Except for 790, everyone was sleeping now on board the Lexx, at least for a while. The protein-regenerator was working all the time, observed by the robot head. Kais regeneration proceeded, but there were surely a few days to go until he would wake. 790 smit time with a new poem for Xev.
    Time went by and his worshipped darling woke up late the next day. Fully relaxed she joined Stan in the galley. He had eaten recently and was on his way to the bridge. ?I think, I will check on Lexx, he needs some attention again!? he fancied and held out a plate with goo. ?Alright, I?ll go later to check after Kai.? Stan nod and left the galley, Xev ate her goo hungrily.
    790 was happy when Xev showed up and greeted her enthusiastic with a new love poem. Xev sighed: ?Thank you 790. How does it go?? ?Och, always him, what about me? Doesn?t I deserve a kiss and a praise after all?? 790 was disappointed. Xev smiled: ?Of course, thanks for your help!? She gave him a smack onto his left <eye>. ?Ohhhhhh?? 790 sighed and two pulsing hearts appeared in his small eye screens. ?My love pumpkin!? He remembered her question and answered: ?It will take time. The electrodes will loose, if the part is completely healed. They will appear green on the holoimage.? Xev determined no such case. She looked over to Kai and sighed, patience has never been one of her strongest talents. She closed the distance between them and stroke softly over his face. He acted more fraught than before. ?He is still narcotized?? she asked worried. ?Yes,? confirmed 790. Xev nod relieved. She didn?t want to leave him in pain. She kissed him softly. ?Get well soon, Kai ? we need you?? <and I need you badly> she added in her thoughts.
    Slowly she turned around and collected the tools she had used. She started to clean them, as well as his biomechanical devices, she had removed. A few of them had been destroyed whilst removing, but maybe they have any use for them in the future. Kai won?t need them any longer, but maybe they could be used as spare part for the protein regenerator. Kais weapon was the last she cleaned. ?Ouch,? she murmured, she cut herself with the sharp blade. With a closer look she examined the deadly object. She never had seen it that close, and over her fascination she forgot the sharp blade. After a moment staring at its weird material, she put it away, not together with all the other things, no, she put it in her belt. Then, Xev picked up Kais heap of clothes and decided to get them washed. Not a fault after 6000 years! She knew it was self-cleaning, but as a signal it would be fine. She wanted to wash away his past, clean it. If that would work on Kai as easy like that! Xev left the chamber after a last long look at his naked body.
    It matters not
    If the cause is lost
    And we cannot stop the tide
    We will fight to the end
    And then fight again
    It will be a good way to die

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